The ugly sweater. It started as a kitschy joke, then one day you woke up and discovered that ugly had become it’s own style… and one that holiday sweaters actually aspire to be. Bury this crime of fashion next to your hoverboard, fidget spinners, and other #giftfails of Christmases past, and reclaim the meaning of “festive.”

life/after/denim’s three festive micro-print button-downs are sure to make your fellow-holiday revelers positive that you’re one of the wise men. So this holiday season, as you gather around the Yule log (or the Netflix endless stream of one), show your friends and family your sophisticated style, and let Marcy in accounting — or your Aunt Marcy — handle the silly holiday theatrics.

Mistletoe has held the imagination of countless civilizations throughout history. In European folklore, it was thought to bestow life and promote fertility, and it was used as an aphrodisiac. (And you thought kissing under the mistletoe was just an antiquated tradition.) If you want to kiss your crush this winter, don’t count on a sweater with a flashing arrow pointing up.

For the more refined smoocher in all of us, the aptly named Mistletoe Shirt (available in Golden Olive and Heather Grey) features a striking mistletoe pattern on 100% cotton twill…  with this shirt buttoned on, you’ll always be under the mistletoe, so you won’t need to position yourself perfectly to plant one on your holiday hottie.

In the mad-dash through the holiday season, you’ve been feeling less “Jingle All The Way” and more “Survive ‘til Spring”… but no one needs to know that. Put your fashion to work, and make it mask your attitude, harkening to the days when everything green wasn’t so… dead. Don a fashion piece that illuminates your best qualities without literally lighting up, and let the Hollyhock Shirt (available in Blue Blood and Auburn) be your beacon through this holiday season.

The shirt features a subdued floral print with a Mid-century-inspired panache. The pattern draws from the star-shape of its botanical namesake, and like the flower itself, you’ll be a star whenever you wear the Hollyhock Shirt… as long as you don’t forget to wash it between holiday parties (machine safe), you’ll be good to go.

For those whose enduring spirit can’t be shaken by winter winds and shorter days, the evergreen tree is your totem. Whether fir or pine or spruce, evergreen trees are literally everywhere (except Antarctica, which, I mean, can you blame them for not being on Antarctica?), and like you, they’re a testament to Mother Nature’s endurance: neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow will shake them of their spirit.

life/after/denim’s Evergreen Shirt (available in Auburn, Blue Blood, Golden Olive, and Black), made from 100% cotton poplin, will allow you to embody the spirit of the season without having to explain to your grandmother what exactly that pair of reindeer are doing in the evergreen forest.