If you’ve dabbled in online dating, chances are you’ve fallen victim to the cruel breakup tactic known as ghosting. For the uninitiated: picture driving along a beautiful countryside road with your Tinderella or Tinderfella and enjoying perfect, scenic views, when suddenly the road, your car, and your companion all disappear without warning. That’s basically how it feels to be ghosted.Ghosting is not a new concept, but while it used to involve entry into the Witness Protection Program, it can now be accomplished with (or without)the swipe of a finger. Ah, the glory of technology.
The Tinder Revolution has liberated us from relying on serendipitous meetings and the matchmaking skills of our friends. Now we’represented with an endless stream of potential connections, destiny only a swipe away. But with the next match always around the corner,has a bit of humanity been lost?
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Things were going so well: you’d made the leap from app to text, and from text to drinks. After surviving the first-date jitters, it felt like you were hitting the groove together. You had just proclaimed to friends that this one was “different,” when BOOM! Ghosting body-slammed you back to earth.
Don’t beat yourself up over the slightly wrinkled shirt you wore on your last date, or the silly puppy GIF you texted, because neither is the true reason your crush vanished. Dating ghosts disappear for the same reason that movie ghostsreappear— to deal with unresolved issues. Those unresolved issues could be as simple as an ex coming back into the picture. Or as awful as their having been maimed while attempting to relive their pose-with-a-tiger Tinder pic. No matter the reason for disappearing, the results are, frustratingly, the same: it’s over.
When you’ve been ghosted, it can feel like a death. Mourn the loss with a three-foot gummy snake and your favorite movie. Or go for a run and sign up for a yoga class. A Zen-like mentality will help you process the rejection. While it’s never pleasant to have a budding relationship nuked unexpectedly, look on the bright side: you’ve been spared more pain down the road.And remember: dating isn’t just about finding your perfect match—it’s also about learning who ISN’T right for you. Trust the process.
Don’t be spooked. For every false start, it takes literally only one victory to secure your happy ending. If there’s anything to be learned from online dating, it’s that your perfect match could be only a swipe away.